Restless

Today's again one of those days that I feel restless. It may be difficult to imagine if you've never experienced it but most of the people I know do have this feeling from time to time. I feel like my head is going to explode. I am dying to do something – do anything – my hands are burning to start working.

It's usually a sign that I need a break or that something is bothering me (more like eating me alive) or that my mind is simply running out of operating memory and I need some “things” to be closed to free up the processing power. You know like a runaway process on the server that is eating up all of the resources and grinds all the other services to halt.

This whole week seems like a runaway process for me. It started at hectic pace with back to back meetings right until my flight to Hong Kong. Then my whole China trip was really a crazy ride. I didn't let my customer down and managed to do everything I was supposed to do – in fact, I don't know if it was more the stressful work or the new (unbelievably eye opening) environment but the whole situation caused my brain to soak with so much of information that there was hardly any space left and made me miss my flight back which caused even more stress as I had to rush to the Ruby on Rails meeting straight from the airport my clothes still smelling of beer that the drunk manageress of a night club spilled on me the night before. All that with not more than 2 hours of sleep. As if it was not enough what followed was a hectic Friday with a really intense meeting the whole morning and at least a bit more relaxed in the afternoon.

Now, this is exactly what makes me tick – all this is exactly why I love being in this business and what gives me enough adrenaline to wake up every morning and keeps me up until late night. Unfortunately, as much as all our muscles need stress to become stronger they need a time to relax at least as much. You flex and then release. Normally, my body knows how to control this and usually after my last meeting on Friday it turns off and I am able to get the rest I need. Sometimes, it's not as easy. Sometimes I need a reset – you know, vacuum the brain a bit and then fill that space with fresh things. Sometimes I just need a mental challenge – to watch a good movie or to read a good book, meet someone interesting, or a challenging discussion to get my mind somewhere else. At times (like today) none of those is nowhere around. I'd do anything but just cannot find the right thing. I see the clock ticking and the more they move the less time to relax and the more I feel like I am going to explode.